Don’t Get Te’O'd: How To Know If You’re Talking To Real People Online

Posted on January 18, 2013 by Quinn

In a cartoon published in New York Magazine in October 1993, two dogs sat at computers where one looks at the other and says, “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.”

If you haven’t heard the explosive news of university football all-star Manti Te’O and his fake dead girlfriend by now, then you’re behind on the times. To make a long story short, a top rated university could-be-an-NFLer football player was duped into thinking that his girlfriend (who he became famous for kicking ass in games in honor of that girlfriend after she died of leukemia in September) was a loving Stanford student for the two years of their relationship when, in reality, she didn’t exist at all. As it stands right now, it looks as though a male friend/fan of Te’O's may have been pretending to be his online girlfriend the entire time, creating an elaborate hoax that roped him into a fake relationship.

How can you protect yourself from getting duped into talking to someone who isn’t who they say they are? Our Sexperts have compiled the biggest red flags for people who are involved in online relationships:

1. Always, always Skype.
Experts say that if they’re not willing to Skypecomputer dating there’s likely something they’re trying to hide, especially if they’ve already sent you photos. “When someone sends you photos but is unwilling to video chat, it’s likely they’re not the people they’re claiming to be. Not having a web cam is not a valid reason: In 2013, everyone has access to the ability to video chat,” says our Sexpert.

2. Do a reverse picture lookup.
Did they send you photos of themselves? Can you see their profile pictures? Do a reverse photo lookup on Google to see if there are any other matches for those pictures. If you find the images under different names, it’s likely you’re being duped.

3. Research them a little.
So they’ve told you where they work, where they went to school, who their friends are… Look that up a little. On the MTV show Catfish, that’s usually the host Nev’s first clue as to having a liar on the line: Their jobs, friends and hobbies aren’t who they claim to be.

If you cover these bases, you’re likely to find definitive answers as to the validity of your online love.

Think You’re Dating People Too Ugly For You? You’re Not Alone!

Posted on January 11, 2012 by Woods

Who knew the world as a whole was so shallow?! Ok– so maybe a lot of us already knew that. Most of us probably already knew that. But now, thanks to some much-need scientific research on the subject, we can call that a fact.

They were so interested in how much emphasis we put on looks in our dating lives that researchers from both Northwestern and Texas A&M Universities in Texas have gotten together to take a closer look into why we prefer dating hotties, and why that’s probably never going to change.

If you ask people what is most important to them in a partner, a lot of people will list things like, ‘family values’, ‘sense of humor’, and ‘life ambition’. It’s not often that someone will confess the brutally honest truth: Looks are a big factor in what people want from someone they date.

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Ways To Get Yourself Rejected

Posted on November 24, 2011 by Woods

As an adult, you know that if you touch a stove top while it’s on, you’re going to get burnt, which is why you know not to touch them. How is this relevant to online dating? Once you know what people don’t want to see, you’ll know exactly what to avoid in your inaugural message to prospective dates.

There are countless advice columns on what you should do when you send out your first message online, but very few look into what you shouldn’t do. Before you log in to Sex Search and start your dating journey, take a look at things you don’t want to do when sending that ever important first message.

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Are More People Looking For Dates Or Sex Online?

Posted on November 3, 2011 by Quinn

When you’re looking for something online, you turn to the only trusted search engine left: Google! Whether you’re looking for a new pair of Jimmy Choos or the name of the background actor in the last How I Met Your Mother episode, chances are you’re going to go to Google’s website to find what you’re looking for. And when it comes to online relationships, that’s no different.

Google releases an annual report for the most searched topics every year, and for the past decade, online dating has been on the top of that list. Scattered throughout has been other popular-at-the-time topics like Backstreet Boys, Christian Bale’s freak out and Rebecca Black, but no other searched topic has as much staying power as relationships.

Even though people are still looking for online dating, there’s something making its way to the top of the most-searched list lately: free sex.

Between 2005 and 2008, there was a significant spike in people using online dating sites, but in the last three years it’s started to level out. Not because people have stopped looking, but instead of looking for just dates, they’re narrowing down their search field to exactly what they want. That’s why there’s also an obvious increase of people surfing the net for sex.

If you’re looking for something specific, you have to become one of those people who have refined their searches. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, your approach should be vastly different than it would be if you were looking for a one-night hookup. Things like your profile pictures, about me, interests and even your user name should be different from each other because you need to target yourself to your desired audience.

The broader you try to be, the harder it’s going to be to attract people to your profile. Keep your search narrow and you’ll increase your success rate!

Think You’re The Only Single Parent Online? Think Again

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Woods

When parents are looking for sex through an online dating site, it’s normal for them to feel a little odd for doing it. After all, when you’re a parent, your daily life consists more of making lunches than making love.

The good news is that you’re not alone! Although you may feel like you stick out as the only mom or dad trying to hookup online, you’re far from it. New numbers are showing that in users 35-45, nearly half of all registered online daters are single parents looking to have a second go at it!

According to the online dating database, single parents are almost as common as divorcees, who make up a majority of the online dating pool after the age 35.

From ages 25-35, single parents make up 18.6% of paid dating sites and 29.4% of free dating sites, and those numbers rise with age! Single parent daters aged 35-45 make up 44.3% of paid sites and 49.2% of free ones, and parents aged 45+ make up approximately 40% of both paid and free sites.

At Sex Search, we have parents signing up daily! Feeling as though you’re the only parent online is nothing more than insecurities.

There’s been a common pattern in the last few years in that people try to shy away from writing that they’re a parent in their profile, but a majority of the time, this ends up backfiring. When you’re looking for a relationship online, or even if you’re looking to simply hook up, people want to have a common ground with their potential dates, which means that you having your parental status clearly stated could end up helping you! If someone sees that you’re a parent, they may be more inclined and comfortable to message you than they are someone who doesn’t have children.

If you’re insecure about being a parent online, forget about it! You having kids can actually be an asset when trying to hookup.

Your ‘Hello’ Is Important To Your Sex Life!

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Woods

As any good online dater knows by now, your greeting in your first message is crucial. It sets the tone for your dating future together, and is your only chance to grab the attention of the person you’re messaging. But what you might not know is that the way you say hello is just as important as the rest of your first message!

A study done by the media moguls at O Magazine have revealed that the way you say hello can determine how much sex you’ll get from the people you’re contacting.

Why? Well according to the magazine, “A person trying online dating for the first time is likely to only read 10% of the messages you send them. That means when your messages are short, people are really just paying attention to the greeting.”

So which greetings are likely to lead the way to the bedroom?

The magazine did a study of 180, 000 first time messages, and found that one greeting stands out among the rest as an over 50% success rage, and one is sitting at the bottom of the list at under 25%.

The most mundane of greetings are ‘hey,’ ‘yo’, ‘hola,’ and ‘holla,’ all ranging from 30% success rate to 35% success. Or, in laymen’s terms, they’re the ones you want to stay away from.

A simple ‘hello’ is the second worst greeting you can have at only 26%, so you can check that one off your list as well. More unused greetings like ‘what’s up?’ and ‘howdy’ are each sitting at a 44% success rate, but they’re still not the top choice!

So what are the best and worst greetings to use?

According to the study, ‘Hi’ should never be your first greeting, as it only works 23% of the time. But in this context, ‘works’ doesn’t mean gets you sex, it simply means it gets a message back.

As for the best greeting, surprisingly enough ‘how’s it going?’ is the must successful greeting, coming in at a whopping 54% success rate in getting the messager laid.

Next time you send a first message, put a little extra thought into your greeting!

How Can People See You At Your Sexiest?

Posted on October 20, 2011 by Quinn

Making a good first impression is what using an online dating site is all about. You need to grab peoples attention long enough for them to get interested in your profile and what you have to say.

How do you do that? It all starts with the profile picture.

Scientists who have done studies on the brains reaction to the human face have found that 89% of men and 74% of women think that the opposite sex looks their best two hours into their work day. Why? It all has to do with freshness and attitude.

When you’re at the two hour mark of your day, your hair and wardrobe (and makeup, if applicable) are still look fresh, but they’re not as stiff as they were at the start of the day. Your clothes start to lose their newly-ironed look and start properly draping themselves on your body, your hair falls in a more natural way, and your natural glow starts to shine through your makeup.

But it’s not all about physical looks, it’s about confidence! Studies show that over 70% of people would rather have sex with someone who was visibly confident. When you’re two hours into your work day, you’ve let enough time pass to feel you’ve accomplished something, but have enough of your day left to go to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed from pending work. What does that have to do with your confidence level? Well, because you’re sitting in such an optimistic place, you’re confidence is going to be higher than normal, which others will be able to catch onto.

What can you do with all this information? Use it to take the perfect profile picture! If you take a picture two hours into your work day, you’re likely to look your best, which will attract more people to your profile. Try it out yourself!

Does Inexperience Give You A Bad Dating Reputation?

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Woods

This is my first time using an online dating site, and I’m finding that a lot of people are writing me off because they don’t think I’m ‘serious’ about it. What’s the deal here?
Confused and still alone
48, Virginia

We here at SexSearchCom get a lot of reader e-mails about being new to the online dating scene and not getting enough respect. The reason behind this usually boils down to people assuming that new users will eventually get sick of the online dating game and if they invest time in those new users, they’re going to be left back at square one, having to find new people to talk to. So what can you do to make sure you’re not labeled a stereotypical new user?

There’s no need for people to know you’re new!
Most adult friend finder sites have an option in your profile settings to hide your sign-up date. Often on dating profiles, it will show when you signed up, and when the last time you logged on was. If you simply turn off that feature, people won’t have public access to that information, which will prevent newbie-phobics from avoiding your page. It’s always important to be honest about yourself online, but this is a detail that you can afford to omit.

Be serious about finding someone online.
A big factor in people thinking new users aren’t a safe bet because statistically they’re the ones who are the most timid in taking the relationship from online to offline. If you’re interested in finding someone, then be serious about it! Be willing to put time and effort into getting to know people, and when they request for a formal date, put serious consideration into it!

Use online dating sites like you’re a pro!
The biggest sign that you’re a new user to online dating is a bare profile. Set up your page with through information and pictures so people assume you’ve been using online dating sites for ages! It will show that you’ve put effort into your dating aspirations, and will make people more inclined to pursue you online.

Unfortunately being labeled a new online user isn’t always the best thing, so do what you can to look like you’ve been around the online dating block and you’ll have an easier time attracting a date!

Are You Too Boring To Date?

Posted on August 8, 2011 by Woods

It’s common knowledge that the most important part of your dating profile is your picture, but what you may be surprised about is how many people put importance in your About Me section.

Many people choose to leave their About Me page blank, which is an extremely easy to scare people away from your page. According to a study done by NYU’s Psychology department, an astonishing 45% of online daters wouldn’t date someone who left this field blank, and 60% of those original 40 cited fear of them having a boring personality as the reason they would pass.

No matter what you do with your time, you have hobbies and interests that others would find intriguing. You can be interested in the most mundane things in the world and still look interesting as long as you word it correctly. People just want to know that you spend your time on something other than online dating, and they want to know if your lifestyles will be able to connect.

If your interests include squash and tennis, it may not sound like a big attractor. What you read as a slightly boring past time, others may read as an interest in physical activity, which may draw someone with an interest in things like hockey your profile, regardless of the fact that you don’t have hockey listed as an interest. Same goes for activities like chess and Scrabble. Even though they’re pretty unexciting ways to spend your time, others will read that as you being a critical thinker and you’ll be more likely to attract a scholar.

It doesn’t so much matter what you write in your personals, but it does matter that you write something! A fuller page will make it seem like you have genuine interest in online dating, and you’re not just testing the waters.

No one is too boring to date, so fill your page and start attracting!

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