If you’ve found yourself in a relationship slump, it’s easy to lower the bar in order to get a quick date. The problem? Once you’ve gotten someone, you’re left spending time with yet another go-nowhere love interest!

Instead of lowering your expectations to get a date, raise them! Setting a goal you’re proud of won’t just keep those less-than-stellar dates at bay; it will actually help you get a date by motivating you. It’s nice to say you want to lose weight, but until you see that picture of the exact body you want, there’s a chance you won’t do anything about it. It’s the same with dating! Once you see the finish line you want, you’re more likely to strive towards it.

In order to keep your keep your eye on the prize, here are three easy ways to keep your standards high while dating:

1. Make a list of the things you miss about your ex’s.
   Nobody wants to intentionally think about what they miss about their ex’s because doing so tends to bring up painful memories, but those painful twangs on your heartstrings can be put aside in the name of bettering your dating life. By consciously thinking about what personality traits you were attracted to of your ex’s, you’re able to gain an understanding of what makes you happy in a relationship. Did they call you often? Let you pick the movie? Surprise you for no reason? These things you loved about your ex aren’t exclusive to them, and knowing what they are can help you find them in another.
2. Make a list of things you didn’t like about your ex’s.
   Just like you can use things you liked about them as a learning tool, you can use things you didn’t like about them to learn what you want to avoid in a relationship. Many times when people are in dry spells, they leave their expectations at the door and date the first person who comes along, regardless of how poor of a fit they are. Think about things you don’t like about your ex’s– Things like them being chronically late, flirting too much with others, and even what they’re like around their friends– and hold steady on the grounds that you’re not going to date someone with these traits again. They say it’s the little things that count, and there’s a good chance that all these little things added up to be the reason for your breakup. By dating people with the same traits, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
3. Make a (realistic) list of your ideal partner and don’t settle for less!
   Dry spells come and go, but getting stuck in a bad relationship can have effects that last a life time. Take everything you want and don’t want in a match and don’t settle for less! It’s important that you spend your time with someone you feel deserves to be with you, otherwise you’re wasting your time and theirs. 

Don’t settle for the first person who comes along! Keep your standards high so when you finally do choose a match, you’ll know they’ll be around for a long time to come!