I have trouble ejaculating while having sex or getting head. I’ve never had a problem getting or maintaining an erection, but I can’t seem to climax. I get the feeling that I’ll be at the point of cumming, but the feeling always ends up just subsiding after a while. I’m only 25, so I don’t see why this keeps happening?
It’s not uncommon for our Sexperts to be asked about ejaculation problems, but often our questions are regarding doing it too quickly, not doing it too late. The fact of the matter is, delayed ejaculation is a problem that tens of thousands of men in America alone face every day, and as any of them can tell you, it’s a problem that can be just as embarrassing as having the opposite issue.
So what are the causes? What are the solutions? Is it an actual problem, or is it just an annoyance? Our Sexperts have all the answers you want to know about delayed ejaculation.
What’s the cause?
There are three different main causes for anorgasmia (AKA delayed ejaculation): Age, medication, and yourself.
Let’s go through them one by one.
- AGE
Unfortunately, as you get older your body simply doesn’t work the same, especially when it comes to using it for sexual activity. If you’re over the age of 40, chances are your anorgasmia problems stem simply from your body’s lack of energy and your deteriorating physical structure. - MEDICATION
Almost all medications come with side effects, but outside of the major warnings (heart failure, trouble breathing, chance of stroke…), people rarely pay attention to the physical side effects that those medications can cause. Even when it’s not printed on the bottle, doctors have found the connection in many medications with delayed ejaculations. If you’re regularly taking any medicine, ask your doctor for an extended list of side effects. - YOURSELF
Let’s face it, the longer it takes you to ejaculate, the more frustrated you become. And everyone knows that the more frustrated you become, the longer it takes you to ejaculate! Sex experts say that giving yourself a mental block is actually one of the biggest contributing factors to anorgasmia.
What are the solutions?
When men are faced with this problem, they all look it from the same standpoint: They can’t ejaculate, and that’s a problem. While it can be a nuisance, it shouldn’t necessarily be looked upon as a problem. The longer a man can go without ejaculating, the longer he can sustain intercourse for. This can lead to greater pleasure for the woman, and ultimately a better sexual experience for the two of you as a couple. The first and easiest solution is to not let it bother you! Instead of concentrating on reaching climax, focus your mind on enjoying the act as it’s happening.
After you’ve cleared your mind from negative thoughts, it’s time to think about diet. Any time you run into medical troubles, doctors suggest taking a look at your diet. An intake of too many fatty foods and a high sodium diet can be contributing factors to your delayed climax. The easiest solution is to go vegetarian for a week: Cut out fatty meats, unnecessary consumption of sugar and as much sodium as possible. Your body will start working in a more positive way and will be more likely to respond to sexual stimulation.
The last solution is often the hardest to attempt: Avoid masturbation. Often men get so used to their own hand (the pressure they like when they like it, the speed they need to achieve orgasm, etc) that their bodies become trained to that specific feeling to the point that it becomes the only thing that gets them off. If you want a better chance of achieving climax with something other than your own hand, then you’ve got to keep your paws off your drawers.
So what’s the bottom line– Is there something wrong with me or not?
While many men would prefer the answer of this question to be a ‘yes’ for the mere purpose that they’d have something to be angry at, the truth is that a majority of the time it’s nothing more than stage fright and frustration. Like any sexual health concerns you should consult a doctor if it’s something you think is a serious issue, but before taking that dive, test our Sexperts’ advice and you’re likely to see a difference in a fast way.