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For every couple, the subject of sex toys is usually a difficult one to bring up. Whether it’s embarrassment or fear of being turned down, the thought of having to ask someone if they’re interested in incorporating toys into your sexual experiences can be intimidating.

If you want to start using toys in the bedroom, you don’t have to go straight to the dildo. There are small and simple ways to ease your way from toyless to making your bed be a toy box without even having to have the talk!

Incorporate toys that aren’t traditionally connected with sex

When men hear their women want to start using toys in bed, they usually assume it’s because they’re not performing to their fullest. The instances where this is the case are very few and far between– A majority of the time couples want to use toys to pleasure the other person, not themselves. Instead of jumping to the local sex store to buy a vibrator to bring in the bedroom, try incorporating things that can enhance your experience, but that don’t pose as such an intimidation to the other person. Bringing them into the shower is a sexy way to spice things up, and you’ll have easy access to one of the best non-sex toys around– the shower head. If you have a removable shower head, you can use it as an extremely lubed up vibrator. With the different settings for water pressure and speeds, as well as having the control of the temperature, makes for a toy like none other. And the best part? Your partner won’t be insecure that a toy is involved, because they’re likely not to make the connection.

Don’t use anything ‘big’

Asking to use sex toys is often already see as an insult by men, so using toys that’s going to make him feel like his manhood isn’t cutting it in the size department is a bad idea. Even if he’s gung-ho on the idea of using toys, avoid incorporating any objects (like dildos or vibrators) that are bigger than he is.

Lube can lead to other things!

If you’re not sure how he would react to using toys, start with something small that most people use: Lube. Get flavored lubricant to use while giving oral sex, and casually make the suggestion that if he finds this enjoyable, you two should explore what else would add to his pleasure.

Try role play

Role play is the easiest way to bring toys into the bedroom in a nonchalant way. Play good cop/bad cop to not only get him turned on, but to bring objects into bed without having to mention it! Grab a pair of plastic hand cuffs and suggest he cuff you before you get down and dirty. It’ll give him the control that most men crave, and will give them a great insight into how fun and enjoyable toys can be.

Using toys in the bedroom can be as scary to suggest as it is fun to do. Enter the realm of enhanced sex by using these tips from our Sexperts and you’ll be regretting not trying it sooner!