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Orgasms and intimacy and relationships, oh my! In the world of dating a majority of people think that sex acts as a glue to hold everything together, but new studies show that sex itself has very little to do with helping relationships last. Intercourse, however, is very important. Sounds confusing, right? Our Sexperts have broken down the latest research on why you can skip sex, but you can’t skip getting close.

A team of researchers were lead by Dr. Marnia Robinson, a physiologist who recently published the book Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow, in the attempts to find a chemical connection in the brain that connected a physical orgasm with the feeling of love, but their search came up empty.

Although scientists in the past have attributed foreplay and orgasms to solidifying the bond between two people, Dr. Robinson’s team have uncovered evidence that suggests that isn’t the case. The research panel found that foreplay builds sexual tension to the point of explosion, but as fast as it comes it crashes back down. Although higher levels of serotonin are released into the body during an orgasm, the fleeting feeling the body is left with after the adrenaline crash leaves much to still be desired.

So why is it still important to have sex? Robinson claims that physical contact is one of the best ways to sustain a relationship. Eye and skin-to-skin contact are one of the biggest contributors to creating a strong chemical bond; both of which are done during sex.

“Is sex essencial to making a relationship last? No, not necessarily,” says Dr. Robinson. “But the intimacy that comes along with sex is. The mental connection you make to that form of physical contact is on par with listening intently and having meaningful conversations with your partner. It’s the defining factor between a friendship and a relationship.”

In addition to Dr. Robinson and her team making the realization that sex isn’t crucial to a relationship, they found near definitive evidence that trying to fix a relationship with sex simply won’t work. The team took a habitat of  monkeys and treated the females with daily hormones so they were always sexually aroused. After three and a half years of constant of sexual stimulation between each other, the men actually lost enthusiasm in their sex drive. But when the hormone-rich females were replaced with new ones, the male monkeys returned to their original sex drive.

What does this tell us about sexual desires? Dr. Robinson claims that the root of a man’s sexual desires stems from what is known as the Coolage Effect; the stimulation of a primitive part of the brain that wants to reproduce with and satisfy a woman. Once they feel they’ve meet those needs, their brain sends them a mission accomplished signal and creates the urge to meet those needs of a new mate.

In layman’s terms, have all the sex you want, but it will only satisfy your pleasure, it will never reignite your passion.

Scientists may have believed at one point that sex was a cure-all for romance, but new developments have proven that’s simply not the case. If you’re looking to fix your relationship, you’re going to need a few steps between ‘fucking’ and ‘fixed’!