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As an adult, you know that if you touch a stove top while it’s on, you’re going to get burnt, which is why you know not to touch them. How is this relevant to online dating? Once you know what people don’t want to see, you’ll know exactly what to avoid in your inaugural message to prospective dates.

There are countless advice columns on what you should do when you send out your first message online, but very few look into what you shouldn’t do. Before you log in to Sex Search and start your dating journey, take a look at things you don’t want to do when sending that ever important first message.

ALWAYS AVOID…

Spelling mistakes
No matter if you’re messaging someone for a romantic date or a simple booty call, you’re going to get judged on your spelling. The good news? Spell check is free! There’s no undo button once you’ve sent a message, so before you click send run it through spell check to see if you’ve made any simple mistakes.

Being boring
It’s widely said that you have one chance at a first impression, and that rule carries to the internet as well. You first message has to say something about yourself, and that something can’t be ‘boring’. Sending the standard ‘I saw your profile and thought I’d say hey’ is going to get you nothing but an empty inbox. Personalize it! Tell them exactly why you’re messaging them. ‘I noticed that we have a lot in common– I ski as well, and it looks like we may have even visited some of the same mountains. I’d love to chat with you about your favorite hills sometime,’ not only shows that there’s something that connects the two of you, but sets the stage for easy conversation.

Typing a lot but saying nothing
‘Hey whats up I wanted to give you a shout and see what your deal is get back to me…’ What exactly is the message there? Unless you have something you’re trying to get across, you shouldn’t be wasting their time with a bottomless message. Always have a message in your message!

Skipping their profile before you message
Reading their profile makes all the difference in the world! It not only allows you to make it personalized, but it gives you hints as to how you should be wooing this person. What do they like that you could message them about? Do they say anything about what they’re NOT looking for? What if you have 3 kids and they specifically say they don’t like children? Your message won’t just waste their time, it will waste yours, too!

When you’re ready to send your first message, make sure you’ve avoided all necessary DON’Ts that could hinder your chances of getting a message in return.