About aardvark2u

Send Member A Connect Request

• Age: 59
• Photos: 3 Public
• Sex: straight single man

Recent Status: Seriously silly syberite seeks same

Location: Fremont, California

Request Friend Status

• 
• 
  Request Access To Private Gallery

About Me: My name is Brian. If I was a tree and you were to saw me in half, you could count 51 rings. I am the world's tallest midget at 5 ft. 12 in. tall and I weigh as much as a 225 pound piece of cheese. I have brown eyes (2), and brown hairs (many). I wear size 13 shoes. I am a former Siamese triplet. I am a Born-again agnostic. I don't smoke, drink, use drugs but encourage others to do so. I drive a Greyhound bus convertible. I snore while I am awake. I have been a M&M proofreader, Airbag tester, and Cesspool pearl diver. I was All-American in Full Contact Golf and was captain of the Overhand Bowling team. I lettered Track and Field in Javelin Catching, Low Jump, and One-man Relay. My hobbies include indoor bee keeping, counting from infinity backwards and inspiring deviant behavior in fish. I like to shop at funeral home garage sales. I like to paint landscapes of firestorms. My favorite music is funeral dirges. I read books upside down. I like to read unauthorized autobiographies and Braille picture books. I eat food only in alphabetical order. I like Cable TV dinners and microwave ice cream. I am a Conservative Moderate Liberal. I am registered to the Party Party Party and we have no candidate at this time and no one cares! I am involved in many civic activities. I retrieve dead animals from the highway and try and find homes for them. I go door to door, raising money to fund toupees for the American Bald Eagle. I have filled in the Grand Canyon. I translate ethnic slurs into Esperanto. I replace expletives that have been deleted. I have inflated the Goodyear Blimp using a bicycle pump. I can telepathically remove tattoos. I have let the dogs out. I once saw Mr. Rogers spanking a . I like taking walks in the park backward, having candlelight dinners underwater and picking flowers at the cemetery. I like to French kiss but any nationality will do.