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  • Age: 26
  • Photos: 2 Public
  • Sex: straight single man
Recent Status: I'm looking for the best.
Location: Cupertino, California

About Me: I am a dynamic figure.I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees,I write award-winning operas,I manage time efficiently.Occasionally,I tread water for three days in a row.I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing,I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed,and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.I am an expert in stucco,a veteran in love,and an outlaw in Peru.Using only a hoe and a large glass of water,I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard.I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes.I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair.While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But, I did not write this.

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