About Xertes

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• Age: 62
• Sex: straight single man

Recent Status: Laugh Your Cares Away

Location: Reno, Nevada

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About Me: I am a mass of contradictions. I am adventurous, yet pusillanimous; pedantic, yet laconic; urban, yet bucolic; doughty, yet craven; polemical, yet banal; saturnine, yet sanguine; loquacious, yet taciturn. I am 5’7” tall but have the organ of a 7’ man. To be perfectly honest, it is only on loan and he wants it back. I am the only American to achieve the rank of grand master in Kaing Sui, the ancient art of metaphysical arousal. I am looking for a woman who has a hearty laugh, a propitious sexual disposition and who likes to watch TV curled up in a fetal position. My favorite sexual position is that of floating tiger with paw stuck in tree branch. I enjoy sports. I am an active participant in curling, full contact Parcheesi, arena croquet and push broom shuffleboard. I adhere to a strict diet of rice crispy treats and grape juice. I like to white-out subtitles in foreign movies and make up words that have no vowels. I have meretricious eyes and an inchoate reputation. Most women find me too sagacious but if you think you are up to the challenge, I would like to meet you.