About audiocure

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• Age: 28
• Photos: 1 Public
• Sex: straight single man

Recent Status: I'm Amazing

Location: Houston, Texas

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About Me: I translate ethnic slurs for Iraqi refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time quickly and efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for two days in a row. I woo women with my lovely trombone playing, I can pilot tricycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in sheetrock, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Rosarito. . I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Gulls, I am the subject of numerous interesting documentaries. I enjoy urban hang gliding. I conquered K-2 in a wifebeater, board shorts, and cheap sunglasses. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I bat .400. babes trust me. I am actually the one who founded Scientology... as an April Fool's joke. I can hurl Mechanical Pencils at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I met Mr. T, and I pitied that fool. Anesthesiologists the world over are perplexed by my resistance to darvocet. I can flawlessly whistle "Ride of the Valkyries." I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA, SAS, and Mossad. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a folding lawn chair. While on vacation in Botswana, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bicycle repair shop. The laws of physics do not apply to me. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I can urinate my name in perfect san serif manuscript. I question everyone's motives. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a blender, mortar and pestle, and toaster oven. I breed prizewinning aardvark. I have won bullfights in Bolivia, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and the World Curling Championships at the Kremlin. I have played Othello, I have performed triple-bypass open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with God. Twice.